Josef Reuter, age 80 years, of Kingwood Township, NJ, died peacefully at home on Saturday, October 3, 2020 under the caring watch of Hunterdon Hospice.
The following tribute to Joe, intended to give a glimpse behind the man with the whimsical smile, was penned by his wife and best friend, Marlyn:
Josef Reuter was born in Zindorf, Germany on June 10th, 1940 to Reiner & Margretta Reuter. The family moved to America when he was 11 years old to live the American Dream. Until his father could afford to buy a piece of land in Three Bridges, they lived in a chicken coop that Margretta’s brother, Jack Oster, owned in Three Bridges. It was one of the largest poultry farms in New Jersey. Reiner had worked on the railroad in Germany. When they arrived in America, he got a job with Vocke Construction becoming a brick layer. He was a fun, gregarious man. His son, Joe, inherited his best qualities.
Joe started his American education in Three Bridges Elementary School with Miss Curtis as his teacher. He soon became a favorite as she worked one on one with him to teach him to speak English. He was a hit with the teachers and cafeteria manager, but he was bullied for his wardrobe (one suit) and because he could not speak English. He soon became bigger than his classmates and learned to speak English perfectly. He met up with Miss Curtis at Rolling Hills Care Center in 1996 when his father was a resident there. She no longer was able to remember him, but he would bake apple pie and bring her a slice when he visited his father.
By 12 years of age, Joe was itching to get a job and help the family. He worked at Christina’s Road stand on Route 202, Three Bridges, owned by the Norkevich family, serving hotdogs to the folks who stopped to buy fresh produce. He became another son to them. He and Stanley Norkevich would rise early and drive to the shore and back, picking up what they planned to sell fresh that day. He loved to talk about John, the son, being the biggest baby born in Three Bridges. Joe & John carried on their friendship.
Joe’s mother answered an ad for a farm job, and he became a helper to the Dobozynski family (now the Buffalo Farm). He not only helped in the barns and planting, but he also learned to play Pinochle, an important part of life on the farm. He worked for a gentleman who lived nearby whose woods needed to be cleared out. That’s where he learned to landscape. Coming from a small but bustling town in Germany, he fell in love with the out of doors. He managed to keep his grades up even while working these jobs. When his father had purchased a piece of land in Three Bridges and was ready to build a house, his father asked him to quit the football team and help with the construction of the house. Those skills were particularly advantageous when we purchased a piece of property in Kingwood and built our house. He could do every part of the construction except the roof. He did not like heights.
He attended Hunterdon Central Regional High School graduating in 1960. He remembered the first day Marlyn transferred from South Plainfield High School to HCRHS in their Freshman year, but it took until their Senior year for him to find the courage to talk to her. His goal was to join the Air Force and become a pilot but changed his goal to marriage and children. Both attended church regularly and joined the Three Bridges Reformed Church where they were married in 1962, officiated by the Reverend Peter Boelhouwer. Our dear friend, Margery Case Van Fleet played the organ. She also played two of our children’s weddings. Joe became active in the maintenance of the church, while Marlyn taught Sunday School, played piano for the Sunday School, and eventually became organist and choir director.
When they were first married, they lived in a 2-room apartment in Flemington. Joe worked shiftwork at Tenneco and as a sideline, tiled bathrooms. Soon after our first son was born, Joe said he needed to be raised in a house with a yard, so we bought a small but comfortable house in Ringoes. There we had apple trees, room for a nice productive garden, blueberry and gooseberry bushes, a swing set and small pool. He became interested in wine making and the cellar became his lab. His blueberry/gooseberry wine was delicious. As the family grew, it became evident that it was time for a larger house. A large plot was purchased in Kingwood and split with Joe’s parents. Joe drew up a set of plans, and we were ready to build. The kids helped with the construction where they could. Everyone enjoyed the new bigger yard even though we had to leave the berry bushes and fruit trees behind.
Before we married, we verbalized a list of goals. One of those goals was to become Foster Parents. We were actively involved in Foster Care when we started the build. Having more bathrooms and bedrooms made this new house much more conducive to a large family. With a house full of children, it was easy to take in our cousins, Michelle & Ed who remember their days with us not only for what they were able to learn, but the fun we all had. We loved being parents to so many kids. We made sure that each child was treated the same whether he/she was staying a short time or forever. Joe was the perfect father for any child that entered the household. Now that we had a large basement, he was able to build the train layout of his dreams. Eventually he incorporated HO and N gauge trains. One of his sons found a Tenneco railcar online just like the one Joe loaded at work. It became a favorite. He enjoyed listening to Pavarotti or ABBA while he built the tunnels and mountains.
We purchased a pop-up camper and 2 weeks after our first foster care placement of three young girls, we traveled to Canada to see the Locks & camp there. Of course, that was the trip where everyone came down with pink eye. We used our camper from April until November for many years. A lot of our kids had never been on a vacation, or out of their town, or even out of their home.
We stayed in Foster Care program for over a decade moving into our next phase in life when our last child was placed. We were known as the house where all were welcome. The food was plentiful and good, the atmosphere exciting, and there were plenty of adults (and kids) to converse with or start up a game inside or outside. Pop-pop and Na-na Reuter (Reiner & Margretta) lived next door for a time. Pop-pop waited for the kids to come out so he could hit balls to them with his cane. They could not wait to eat breakfast and get outside to him.
As the kids grew and become involved with school and community activities, we both volunteered as a softball/baseball coaches, scout leaders, PTA, and more church related activities. We were on bowling leagues, and the kids loved when Joe played baseball with the company team. Dick Roe, a Tenneco friend played on the same team. He and his family, and our family enjoyed playing on the old American Legion field in Flemington. Joe always wished he could go on the church’s mission trips, but his bee allergy kept him from that. So, he supported Marlyn’s weeklong trips to Texas, or Florida, New York state or even New Jersey to help where needed. He was counted on by the Vacation Bible School leaders to construct a set that would go along with the program’s theme. He loved working with and setting it up with one of his grandsons. Rick Gares, a former Kingwood neighbor was not only a close friend, but Joe was his mentor and driver to appointments as he had some serious medical issues (now healed).
When Joe and his family were still in Germany during World War II, food was scarce. There were a few local what we now call “Soup Kitchens” that served just soup. When our church began volunteering at the soup kitchen in Somerville, Joe volunteered. He and his best friend, Ron Hall, would bake 50 or more pounds of chicken to serve to the clients. He took one of the adult kids with him and they saw firsthand what it’s really like to be homeless and hungry. Joe started cooking for our family too. He remembered that his mother saw a picture of noodles on TV and she thought the sauce was ketchup. He emulated the dish by making, what he called, “American Chop Suey”, basically elbow noodles and ketchup, but he added ground chuck. That is when the nickname of “Joemima” began with the kids. He become well know for his delicious potato pancakes, and great mashed potatoes.
Joe retired from Tenneco when it closed, after working there for over 25 years. He received many accolades over the years. He was an exemplary worker, not missing a day, working above the company’s expectations. He later worked at Johanna Farms in Flemington and acquired the same reputation. Our kids have followed his example.
His sister, Christa Hancock Riegen (age 77), and brother, Jakob Reuter (age 70) predeceased him in death earlier this year, one week apart. They both lived in Florida. Christa is survived by 3 children, Christa (Cookie) Ubel, Lisa Hancock, and Mark Riegen. Marlyn’s bother Karl, died in 1969 leaving behind his wife, Barbara Inglin Kuhlmann, and 2 children, Kenneth Kuhlmann and Annette Arvanitides and her daughter, Alexis Arvanitides. Barb remembers the first day Joe arrived at Three Bridges School as she was in the same class. They have remained close friends. Our cousins Ed Eager (Stacey), Nicole & Melissa, and Michelle (Frank) Iovine Julia, Gianna, & Alexis have been a big part of our family. Joe has a cousin, Diana Oster Goddish who lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Their happy marriage of 58 years produced six children: Darryl (Tracy), Duane (Rich), Kirsten (Curt), Stephen (Jennifer), Michael (Erika) & Christopher (Michelle); eleven grandchildren, Doug (Joanna), Stef (Paul), AJ (Erin), Zach, Brandy, Marlena (Stacey), Tyler, Skylar (Brent), Kayleigh, Cameron, & Marleigh; and nine great grandchildren, Brianna, Logan, Bennett, Elara, Riley, Mason, Raina, Kira, & Carolina, four of which were born this summer. He loved his big family. He had a special relationship with each child. They have shared their memories of playing with his trains, feeding the fish in the pond, fishing at the reservoir or the NJ shore, sitting with him in the balcony at church, riding in the car with him and taking the scenic route (so he could spend more time with them), attending the races in Flemington almost weekly and later at other tracks, painting the golden egg for the annual Easter Party, spending long week ends at our house, Reuter Camp, his beloved “Flip Phone”.
We’ve returned to Germany a few times to visit his family there. They would recall WW II & how Joe & his family would seek out local shelters. He spoke German in a soon to be extinct dialect. When we would arrive in his small town, it was spread throughout that we were there. The older folks who still spoke the language would enjoy engaging him in conversation. A marathon was run in the area on October 4, 2020 in his honor.
As much as he loved his family, so he loved his well-manicured yard and his outdoor creatures. The hummingbirds flock here, a variety of birds fight over the seeds in the hanging feeders out of the reach of his friend “Freddy” the squirrel. All squirrels were named Freddy, but this one would come to the door and look for Joe, sometimes actually pawing at the door. He named the deer and enjoyed watching them come to the house and look for him. His pond was filled with koi and noisy frogs. Our now deceased terrier “Magic”, who lived for 19 years was his best friend and companion.
His legacy – treat people with respect, find the humor in things, love your family unconditionally, be prepared to always forgive. He was selfless, gentle, but with a strong presence, joyful, he saw the best in anyone, he was fun to be with, easy to talk to, kind, thoughtful, generous, honest and patient. He had a great relationship with the Lord (“the man upstairs”) and going to church was a priority. “Church will only help you.” And he was right.
He loved to a leave phone message with the salutation – “Hi, it is I”. Or, greet friends at the door with “Eehhh”. He loved to tell the kids, “Patience man, what you in such a hurry for, take your time … let me show you”. All the kids know that if they’re eating vegetables or dessert, he would ask “You know why that’s good? No bones”.
Joe was diagnosed with lung cancer and emphysema in August. He knew he wouldn’t survive after he had his first Chemo. All six kids, most of the grandkids and some of the great grandkids were able to visit him at Hunterdon Care Center and enjoy his sense of humor and stories. His desire was to die in his home with his wife, enjoy his beautiful yard, and have an ice cold Yuengling. Hospice made it all possible for him and he died peacefully.
Loved his wife… Loved his family… Loved his house… Loved his Jokes… Loved his pranks… Loved his yard… Loved his deer… Loved his squirrels… Loved his Jets… Loved his Mets… Loved his trains… he simply LOVED.
As per Joe’s wishes, a memorial service at Three Bridges Reformed Church is being planned for Spring 2021 and will be announced on this page under the care and direction of Wright & Ford Family Funeral Home and Cremation Services, 38 State Highway 31, Flemington, NJ 08822.
Cremation at the Chapel of Ewing Crematory was private under the direct care and supervision of the Wright & Ford Licensed Care Team Family.
Please visit Joe’s permanent life celebration site at www.wrightfamily.com to light a candle of hope, leave messages of condolence, share words of comfort and recollection, and post photographs of his life.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in his honor may be made to Hunterdon Hospice, 215 NJ 31, Flemington, NJ 08822 or online by clicking HERE, or to the Three Bridges Reformed Church, 470 Main Street, Three Bridges, NJ 08887 or online by clicking HERE.
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Wright & Ford, your local, family owned & operated “Life Celebration Home”
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