David Aaron Zindler Costell

David Aaron Zindler Costell, age 22 years, of Setauket, Long Island, NY, died on Monday, February 12, 2007 at his residence.

Born in Mineola, NY, April 30, 1984, beloved son of Alan Todd Costell and Sibyl Anne Williams Costell, he had resided in Setauket all his life.

A member of the Ward Melville High School Class of 2002, David was involved with the Suffolk County Branch of Narcotics Anonymous.

David’s father writes, “He experienced many trials and tribulations in his life. Not the least of these were depression and drug addiction. David was a loving and sympathetic soul who could give unlimited love and caring to everyone but himself. His loss is immeasurable, but no more than the thousands of other young people in this world who cannot seem to find their way in a world that has become all too confusing for all of us. It is my prayer that David’s sacrifice will move others in some small way to open their hearts to the unfortunate, the poor and those we might otherwise consider undeserving of our love and compassion.”

In addition to his parent’s, David is survived by two loving sisters, Lisa Beth Costell of Bohemia, NY and Melissa Anne Costell of Setauket, NY; maternal grandparents George and Doris Williams of Setauket, NY; paternal grandparents Milton and Sydell Costell of Stony Brook, NY; several aunts, uncles and cousins; and many dear friends.

Friends may call at the Bryant Funeral Home, Inc., 411 Old Town Road, Setauket, Long Island, NY on Friday from 2-4 & 6-7:30 PM. Funeral Services will be held 7:30 p.m. Friday at the Funeral Home. Cremation will be private. The family strongly requests, in lieu of flowers, that donations in his memory be made to Hope House Ministries, 1 High Street, Port Jefferson, NY 11777. His father writes, “David had a history of offering our home as shelter to every unfortunate adolescent who found himself without the support of his parents or who was otherwise in distress. He was happiest when he was helping others and sharing the protection of our home. This non-profit provides shelter and support to homeless and troubled youth.”

All arrangements and services are under the direction of David’s cousin, D.J. Wright and the Wright & Ford Family Funeral Home and Cremation Services, 38 State Highway 31, Flemington, NJ.
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“May God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.”
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THE FOLLOWING TRIBUTES WERE AMONG MANY THAT WERE OFFERED AT DAVID’S FUNERAL SERVICE. SHOULD YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS OR MEMORIES OF DAVID, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SUBMIT THEM TO THE WRIGHT & FORD FUNERAL HOME AND THEY WILL BE FOWARDED TO DAVID’S FAMILY. *TO LIVE ON IN THE HEARTS OF THOSE WE LEAVE BEHIND IS TO NOT DIE* :
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In Memorium

David Aaron Zindler Costell
April 30, 1984 – February 12, 2007

Bryant Funeral Home
February 16, 2007

*Epistle on Love from David*

At the start, Sibyl and I would like you all to know that we understand that many of you will feel the need to cry and express your grief at this moment. That is natural and perhaps unavoidable. However, we know that David is in a better place now and we wish to celebrate his life and the impact he had on those in this room and elsewhere.
We apologize in advance for using this time to state our views on the meaning of life and the meaning of David’s death and how you might learn from it. Unfortunately, the good Lord has chosen that role for us. Please take from this talk what you will.

David was a loving soul. Unfortunately his physiology and his psychology did not allow him to live in this world. If you are a religious person, or a spiritual person, you believe that we have a soul and a higher purpose. If you are someone who has no such beliefs, I dare you to explain the universal sense within all of us that there is something more to a human being than the workings of his or her body. For David the release from his body is a blessing. His spirit is now free to experience the joy in the universe, for it is only the limitations of the flesh that can inhibit that bliss. He has dropped his body, like stepping out of a fine garment, and joined all of the departed souls who understand the way “this” all works. During this life, David was searching for that truth. His emotional and psychological pain drove him to cherish that part of himself that sought to relieve pain in others. He was driven to help those he thought less fortunate than he was and he fiercely hated injustice and the tendency for those in authority positions to pigeon-hole and pre-judge kids, or anyone.

He loved to feel needed. He was happiest when he was helping someone else who was depressed or in trouble. He loved being able to help someone, whether it was in a small kindness like giving a friend a ride in his car in the middle of the night or in a great kindness by understanding and caring for someone in pain. When I say caring for someone in pain, I don’t mean that he sat back and felt for that person. No, I mean he took care of that person. He would make sure that they were fed and sheltered or otherwise got what they needed. For those of you who feel that they did not have as close a relationship with David as they would have hoped for, I can only say one thing. He loved you, but you did not need his attention. You were too strong, or too important, or too wealthy or healthy or wise. He was needed elsewhere, with the underdog.

Unfortunately, he was not able to use that compassion, that love and that wisdom to help himself. I am still amazed that someone with such a depth of caring for others, someone who ignored the weaknesses in others and truly loved them, someone who could think about and speak about the great intellectual, spiritual and practical concepts in this world was so overcome by his own pain.

It was his pain that drove him to experiment with drugs as a means to self-medicate in the hopes of escaping his anguish. It is clear to Sibyl and I, that nothing in this lifetime was going to relieve David of that pain. And that is why we choose to feel that David is in a better place now. We cannot count the number of nights we spent into the early hours, sleep deprived and tortured by our inability to help David, but speaking with him nonetheless in the hopes that he could come to grips with his feelings about himself and his place in this world. We know that if our profound love for David could not save him, then nothing could. For those of you here tonight, most especially his friends but also his family, we sincerely ask you to turn away from thoughts that you could have done something to prevent David’s death. He loved you and he understood and cherished the fact that you loved him. There is nothing anyone could have done. David’s body chemistry, his psychology, his karma were beyond any human being’s ability to correct.

David would be saddened if he thought that he was causing any of you pain. It is for that reason, and based on our beliefs, that Sibyl and I choose to celebrate David’s life and to keep him in our hearts with joy. We ask you to join us.

With Love,

David’s Father
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*For My Brother*

I keep thinking I see your face
everywhere I go
In the window I will catch a glimpse
and my heart will start to glow

I miss you little brother
you’re the only one I had
but I know if you were here right now
you would tell me not to be sad

Instead of mourning for your death
we will celebrate your life
instead of carrying a burden of grief
I will feel you as my guiding light

You always knew just what to say
to help me see the truth
you could make me laugh until I cried
reminiscing of our youth

The faith I have will carry me through
and help my heart to mend
I know that you are now at peace
and one day I will see you again

Rest In Peace buddyhead
I love you always and forever

From Lisa
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*Gone So Young by Amber Pacific*
To David, From Missy

I never dreamt it’d be this way
I’ve lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I’m okay

I wasn’t prepared for what’s to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I’m regretting all I’ve done
But in your heart know that I’m with you all along

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I’ll make your darkest days so bright
I’m in your heart tonight

I never thought that this could go
And take me away from all I know
And leave me to think I’m on my own
But your love will take me, you were the one……

Who sat through nights
You held me tight
And made sure I’m okay
And I thank you for the love you gave to me

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I’ll make your darkest days so bright
I’m in your heart tonight…

Tonight…

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I’ll make your darkest days so bright
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I’ll make your darkest days so bright
And if I should fall, I know you’re waiting
And if I should call, I know you’re there
If ever you cry just know
I’m in your heart tonight…
I’m in your heart tonight.
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*LET IT BE*
The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)
Sung by David’s Father

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
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*Catch the Wind*
By Donovan
(With slight changes by David’s Dad)

In the chilly hours and minutes of uncertainty
I long to be
In the warm hold of your loving mind
To feel you all around me
To take your hand
Along the sand
Ah, but I might as well try and catch the wind

When sundown pales the sky
I want to hide a while
Behind your smile
And everywhere I’d look your eyes I’d find
For me to see you now,
Would be the sweetest thing,
That would make me sing
Ah, but I might as well try and catch the wind

When rain has washed the leaves with tears,
I need you near to kill my fears
And help me leave all my fears behind
For standing in your heart
Is where I want to be
I long to be
Ah, but I might as well try and catch the wind.