Grief is a topic that hits every person differently. It can manifest itself through anger, isolation, depression, and many other unexpected ways. As a friend and supporter of someone who has lost a loved one, it is important to know how to support them through this difficult time.

When you try to console a friend or family member who has lost a loved one, sometimes the most difficult thing is to know what to say. You feel deeply for the person who has lost someone close to them, but you aren’t quite sure how to express that. The fact is, we aren’t always supposed to know what to say.

When you think back to any experience you’ve had you can probably recall the phrases, “They’re in a better place,” “I’m sorry for your loss,” or “What can I do to help?” While the intent behinds these types of statements are always from a place of care, they rarely express that to the person grieving.

So, what are you supposed to say? How are you supposed to help your grieving friends, family, or community members?

The main goal in communicating with someone who is grieving is to show them that you care. Words and kind messages will always be appreciated but taking the extra step and showing them that you care will speak volumes. Some examples of actions you can take are dropping off dinner, taking their kids to school, helping with errands, etc.

The actions don’t have to be anything extravagant, but these acts of service will truly show that you care. Specific, tangible actions that you can take to help the grieving individual lighten their daily stressors will help give them the time and space needed to work through their feelings.

In terms of how to speak to someone that is grieving, validate their feelings. Rather than saying “He’s in a better place,” say “I know how much he meant to you, and I’m sure that you miss him.” Grief is a natural, normal part of loss. People want to hold tight to the memories and positive times that they had with their loved ones. Bring up fond memories that you have with the person who has died and it’s good to let the grieving person find joy in sharing. Keeping the memories alive of people who have passed is incredibly helpful for grieving individuals.

For some people, they might not want to talk about losing their loved one. In time they will, but everyone deals with grief on a different timeline. Grief is not a journey that anyone should have to take alone. Knowing how to be there for the person that you care about is not an easy task, but hopefully these tips will help you be better prepared to serve those in need.

If an individual seems to be experiencing long periods of isolation, depression, or other at-risk behaviors please reach out for help. The caring team at Wright & Ford Family Funeral Home and Cremation Services can connect you to local grief resources, counselors, and ministers. If you believe that anyone is in immediate danger or harm to themselves, do not hesitate to call 911.