Joseph Francis DeMartino, age 74 years, of Flemington Borough, NJ, died peacefully on Monday, January 18, 2021 at home, surrounded by his loving family, and under the caring watch of Hunterdon Hospice.
Born in Orange, NJ, son of the late Celia Carosia DeMartino, Joe was raised in Orange, graduating from Our Lady of the Valley High School. He travelled the globe extensively and periodically relocated for work over the years, formerly residing in Cresskill, NJ, Audubon, PA, Phoenixville, PA, Ft. Lauderdale, FL, Chicago, IL, Somerset, NJ, Bridgewater, NJ, and Tulsa, OK, prior to moving to Flemington several years ago to be closer to his family.
Raised by a single mother, Joe was the living embodiment of the ‘American Dream.’ Growing up in the projects of Orange, NJ, there were some tough times, but never without one of the important ingredients of life: love. The first one in his family to go to college, Joe’s early successes, coupled with his athleticism, earned him a congressional appointment to the United States Merchant Marine Academy located in Kings Point, NY.
At the USMMA, he was a stand-out athlete, playing football, baseball, and basketball. For a long period, he held multiple receiving records as a tight end for the football team. He was also proud to have played semi-pro football for several years with the Brooklyn Mariners.
Graduating in 1968 with honors, he served in the Merchant Marines for four years, as a ship engineer. He developed a keen interest in engineering, which later resulted in him earning his Masters in Ocean Engineering from Stevens Institute of Technology.
After honorably serving four years at sea with the USMMA, Joe took a job with General Electric in their marine division, serving as a Senior Engineer and Project Manager, eventually moving to power systems. This work solidified his passion for work in the energy sector and honed his professional leadership skills.
He would move on from GE and take a position with Hamon Custodis Inc. in 1994, where he would rise to the rank of President, and later, COO of the Hamon Corporation in the United States. Specializing on working with industries across a wide spectrum, Joe was proud of the legacy he built bringing innovative ideas to the energy world, while at the same time inspiring the next generation of professionals on every level and across every discipline. A proud memory of his contributions and friendships at Hamon live on and are cherished by his many former colleagues.
After moving on from Hamon, Joe moved to Tulsa, OK to accept a position as Project Director for Braden Manufacturing. Here, his depth of knowledge across a wide spectrum of disciplines and arenas made him a leader and friend that many looked to and admired.
With an unparalleled work ethic, Joe was truly a force to be reckoned with, and to this day the energy industry has been made better because of his achievements. Always humble, Joe would want to be remembered as inspiring others to consistently strive to break obstacles, whether external or self-imposed, to truly reach for the stars.
Of course, Joe’s passion did not begin and end with work, but also his family. His childhood had a profound effect on him, and he learned the traits of selflessness, genuineness, and dedication from his beloved mother and cherished Mama Grossa who helped to raise him. They also taught him many family recipes and the importance of cooking well for his family, foreshadowing what would become a major passion later in life. He had a close relationship with his sister Laura throughout his life. Laura loved him immensely, offering an ever-present ear to bend and unwavering support, omnipresent throughout his adventures.
In 1972, Joe married Ms. Mary Buxton (Midge B. DeMartino). Their 15 year relationship would bring him three sons: Jay, Dan, and Mike. His sons recall their father as a man who could be reserved at times but often found himself as the life of the party. He was relentlessly funny and was always able to irreverently lighten the mood of any social gathering. He was also their biggest fan and supporter, a mentor in business, in tennis, and in life. He instilled in them the importance of hard work, dedication and determination. Joe was a leader and a strategist, and he encouraged his sons to follow their passion with conviction and unbreakable resolve.
In turn, they would do all these things, carrying on his legacy with incredibly successful careers born of grit and determination. Along with this, they also brought their amazing life partners to the growing family, and above all else, brought Joe to a place where he could add a new ‘job’ to his resume: that of a grandfather. “Gumba,” as he was known to the grandkids, was a deeply proud grandfather, happy to pass his wisdom and grace to a new generation, both through his sons and directly, with the extraordinary generosity of his time. He cherished every moment with his grandchildren, with some of the most precious times spent together in the kitchen, cooking gnocchi and ravioli from scratch. Joe taught the next generation not only how to make the perfect Sunday gravy like his mother and Mama Grossa, but more importantly, valuable life lessons and true happiness. His intellect and talent were only matched by his ability and desire to teach others the many lessons and skills acquired over a truly remarkable lifetime.
Cooking was something that brought Joe happiness and solace. He approached cooking as he did everything else: a voracious study, careful practitioner, and creative experimenter. Italian cuisine was his specialty, and he enjoyed reading and watching the food network at every opportunity, seeking to master all types of cuisines and cooking techniques. His meals were crafted with care, as if from a five-star restaurant, leaving many to wonder if he missed his calling.
In 1998, his world was transformed when he met Ms. Margie Nolan, who at the time, was working in a restaurant to put herself through school. The two found a love in the other’s intellectual curiosities and passion for learning new things. Margie appreciated Joe’s whimsical sense of humor and corny dance moves, while Joe deeply admired Margie for her intelligence, compassion and humor. Margie is an avid birder, and though initially reluctant, he was eventually passable in spotting various species wherever they traveled. She appreciated his cooking and became his favorite sous-chef. This job included the usual responsibilities, such as prepping and tasting, but also included cleaning up after “Hurricane Joe” reached landfall in their humble kitchen. The result was apparent chaos, with pots and pans strewn as if from the laboratory of a mad scientist, but the food was perfection. As she fondly related, after reflecting on all aspects of their genuine love for one another, “We simply meshed.” Margie was immediately and fully integrated into the extended family, warming their hearts and challenging their minds, hand in hand with Joe. She is a beloved “Gramma” to all the 8 of her grandkids who love and cherish her with all of their little hearts.
In 2008, Joe’s world would be turned upside down, when he developed severe kidney disease, which began a long series of medical adventures. He was both lucky and blessed to have received two kidney transplants (2008 and 2010), surviving against difficult odds. His first transplanted kidney was donated without hesitation by Margie’s sister, Joan. Unfortunately, due to several complications, Joe needed a second transplant. Due to higher match complexity, this transplant took place as part of an 8-person chain put together by the Alliance for Paired Donations. Margie’s brother, John, generously and unquestioningly donated one of his kidneys to complete the chain, which was initiated by an altruistic donor. These were not just medical miracles, but miracles of compassion and love at their heart. The entire family is forever indebted to Joan and John’s generosity and sacrifice, which ultimately gave 13 more years with an amazing husband, father, grandfather, brother, brother-in-law, uncle and friend.
It is important to extend a gratitude of thanks to the Alliance for Paired Donation whose forward-thinking research and donation program allowed Joe to be the recipient in an eight-link chain. Please click HERE to learn a bit more about this amazing program; the life you save may be your own or someone you love.
To everyone who was witness to these times, family, doctors and medical staff alike, it is clear that Joe’s positive attitude, mental toughness and support from his family and friends are what carried him through and allowed him to survive and thrive, these many years since. He was determined not to let his illnesses take over his life. He even had dialysis performed while on business trips to Italy and China to show that nothing would interfere with his ambition and passion for life.
In 2017, he was diagnosed with cancer, where he again relied on his tenacity and strength, along with the will to live for Margie, his boys, his grandkids and his entire family. Joe’s dogged determination and sheer will allowed him to have more time than his diagnosis would have indicated at the outset.
Joe’s mantra of “anything worth doing is worth doing right” is a legacy that he leaves for all those who feel a void at his passing. His path shows a life of trials and tribulations, but also a life of happiness, purpose and success. Each day he set out not only to do things right, but also to do the right thing, grounded in selflessness and love. For this, the world is left a bit brighter and stronger. All those who knew Joe are left better for his companionship and wit. He will never be forgotten.
Surviving are his wife, Margaret T. “Margie” Nolan; his sons and daughters-in-law, Joseph J. (Jay) and Kristin DeMartino, Daniel D. and Melissa McQuiston, and Michael P. DeMartino, Ph.D. and Jessica DeMartino, Ph.D.; his grandchildren, Nolan, Anna, Skye, Kaeden, Isla, Alexia, Lucca, and Cameron; his sister and brother-in-law, Laura Galantino-Starace and Ralph Starace; his mother-in-law, Emma M. Nolan; the mother of his children, Mary “Midge” DeMartino; many extended family members; and many dear friends and business colleagues who, at the end of the day, were family to Joe.
Due to the pandemic and current limitations on gathering, Joe will be laid to rest on January 23rd, 2021 in a private family service at Gate of Heaven Cemetery, 225 Ridgedale Avenue, East Hanover, NJ, under the care and direction of Wright & Ford Family Funeral Home and Cremation Services, 38 State Highway 31, Flemington, NJ.
Plans are being crafted for a public memorial when the time is right and it is safe to do so; if there will be anything public, it will be posted here when known.
You are encouraged to visit Joe’s permanent life celebration site at www.wrightfamily.com to light a candle of hope, leave messages of condolence, share words of comfort and recollection, and post photographs of his life.
For those who wish to honor Joe, memorial contributions in his name may be made to the Alliance for Paired Donation, Inc., PO Box 965, Perrysburg, OH 43552 or online by clicking HERE. This organization allowed Joe to live the last decade of his life, as he was the recipient of an 8-chain kidney donation. Any and all contributions are greatly appreciated by the family.
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Wright & Ford, your local, family owned & operated “Life Celebration Home”