Unveiling of the Headstone for Rabbi Evan Jaffe

The unveiling of the headstone for

Rabbi Evan Jaffe 
ת׳נ׳צ׳ב׳ה

                                                                                                            
will take place Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 11:30 a.m. in the Flemington Jewish Community Cemetery, 67 Capner Street, Flemington, NJ under the care of Wright & Ford Family Funeral Home and Cremation Services, 38 State Highway 31, Flemington, NJ.

Parking will be available in the main area of the cemetery as well as in Prospect Hill Cemetery, located just past the Flemington Jewish Community Cemetery on Capner Street, as well as along the side road by the Reading-Fleming Intermediate School. Wright & Ford family assistants will be there to direct you.

We respectfully ask that you arrive slightly early so that the service can begin promptly at 11:30 a.m.

Following the unveiling, Phyllis, Atara and Jordana have invited all attendees for light refreshments for an hour at the Pavillion in Minebrook Park, Flemington, NJ.

Please contact Wright & Ford at 908.782.3311 with any questions. Respecting the many lives outside of the Jewish faith that Rabbi touched and who have expressed a desire to attend, we are posting the following so as to allow everyone to understand a bit more about this ritual:

“Within the first year after the passing of a loved one, mourners and their family gather at the gravesite for a ceremony called the unveiling, the placing of the tombstone. At this event, a grave marker is put into place and the monument is formally dedicated. There are a variety of specific customs that revolve around the gravesite to honor the person who is now deceased. During this ceremony, it is not necessary for rabbis or cantors to be involved. It is a spiritual time for the family to comfort each other and remember their loved one.”

“The ceremony typically has a certain order of events. First, there are readings from the book of Psalms; other prayers may be recited as well. Next, there is a eulogy from either the rabbi or a family member. At that point, the Moleh, or Memorial Prayer, takes place. Finally, the Kaddish is recited, and the cloth or veil that has covered the headstone is removed. While the events cited above are typical, the unveiling can include additional sections to make this a personal reflection of the person whom has passed way.”

“The ceremony can take place anytime between the end of shiva and the Yahrzeit. However, it should be held sometime during the first year after someone has died. Some people hold it close to the Sheloshim, which is the 30th day after the person died.”

“It is usually planned for a time when close family can attend. However, there are days that are generally not religiously appropriate for visiting the cemetery, such as scheduling the unveiling on days of celebration and festive periods or holidays such as Rosh Chodesh or Sukkot, which tend to take place in the fall or spring. “ 

“What Is the Significance of the Cloth Covering the Headstone?  This part of the ceremony is meant to create a moment in which the monument is unveiled in front of family almost as though it was just constructed. This hearkens back to days when the family members actually erected a monument themselves.”

“Traditionally, a minyan is required in order to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish. This means at least 10 adults are to be present for this to take place. In certain circumstances it may not be possible to have a minyan, but the unveiling can still take place.”

“Another custom that is frequently part of the unveiling is placing stones or pebbles on the monument. This custom has many origins and interpretations, but in its simplest explanation, it is a clear representation and reminder that the family was at the gravesite.”

______________________________________ 

Original Obituary:

Rabbi Evan A. Jaffe, died Wednesday August 12, 2015 at the University of Pennsylvania Medical Center in Philadelphia, PA, he was 62. Born in Baltimore, MD, son of the late Marvin and Carolyn Moranz Jaffe, he had resided in Flemington since 1987, and formerly resided in New York City.

Rabbi Jaffe was a graduate of Columbia University and received his Master’s Degree in Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania, and graduated from the Jewish Theological Seminary, in New York City. Evan was the Rabbi at the Flemington Jewish Community Center (FJCC) since 1987. At one time, he was a professional ballet dancer in New York for seven years.

Active in community activities for nearly 30 years, he was the Chaplain at Hunterdon Developmental Center, in Clinton, NJ and the Greenbrook Regional Center, in Greenbrook NJ. He was the President of the Hunterdon Interfaith Outreach Council, former President of the Women’s Crisis Center in Flemington, was an active participant with the Volunteer Guardianship One-on-One in Hunterdon County and Meals on Wheels of Hunterdon County, and was a volunteer at the Edna Mahon Correctional Facility in Clinton, NJ. He was also the founder of the O.P.E.N. Road of Flemington, which facilitates the transportation for the developmentally disabled and the homebound elderly to places of worship. He was also very active in the Matheny School and Hospital in Peapack, NJ.

During his tenure at the FJCC, he oversaw the growth of the community center and was selected by The Forward magazine “as one of the 33 most inspirational Rabbi’s in the US.”

Rabbi Jaffe is survived by his wife of 33 years, Phyllis Lerner, two daughters, Atara Jaffe of Vacaville, CA, and Jordana Jaffe of Hoboken, NJ, and a sister, Mindy Jaffe of Honolulu HI.

Funeral services will take place Friday, August 14, 2015 at 1:00 p.m. in the Flemington Jewish Community Center, 5 Sergeantsville Road, Flemington, NJ under the joint-direction of Holcombe-Fisher Funeral Home and Wright & Ford Family Funeral Home, Flemington, NJ. Interment will follow in the Flemington Jewish Community Cemetery, Capner Street, Flemington, NJ.

As is traditional in the Jewish faith, the Rabbi would not want flowers. Instead, please consider a donation to the Flemington Jewish Community Center, 5 Sergeantsville Road, Flemington NJ 08822, the Hunterdon Interfaith Outreach Council, at the same address, or Volunteer Guardianship One-on-One, 188 State Highway 31, Flemington, NJ 08822.